


One Moment

by demonic098



Series: Buck's New Family [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:41:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29518914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonic098/pseuds/demonic098
Summary: One moment. It took one moment to see the pain he was in. Deep down Buck knew he was in pain but decided to ignore the anxiety in his heart. Eventually he just let the pain in.
Series: Buck's New Family [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2168547
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First post on here. I do not own the 911 Characters. Some characters do belong to me. I hope you like it!

One moment. It took one moment to see the pain he was in. Deep down Buck knew he was in pain but decided to ignore the anxiety in his heart. Eventually he just let the pain in.

Buck was excited when he dropped the lawsuit. He did not want the money just his job... his family. The loss of separation was hard on Buck. He wanted to be around people that would protect him from the nightmares. A family that would bring the light to his darkness. If only he was not so foolish to think the darkness was done with him. When his first shift happened, he realized that he would have to earn the 118 trust and love. It was like an arrow to the heart when Bobby kept him from calls. It was like Bobby regretted having Buck on the time to the point of making the rest of the team suffer. They separated from him. He was given all the chores, at first, he did not mind. He knew they were hurt and were going to punish him so he could take the chores and lack of calls. What Buck did not predict was the hate he got. The whispers behind his back. The angry glares, the empty rooms when he entered. The worse was the comments, then forceful hits on the shoulder he got when one walked past. It hurt physically but emotionally it was too much. He did not complain or show his emotions while at the Firehouse. He could not express himself without being called exhausting or a baby, so he kept it in. Eventually it became too much.

Buck woke with a slight tremble. Covered in sweat, heart racing. Buck could not control the nightmares. Whenever he got a second to rest, terrors of his past played in his brain. The tsunami was the main terror to haunt him. Water, cold water carrying with its destruction. The bodies being carried, his loss of Christopher. The water pulling at his skin, to swallow him whole. With a groan and a glance at the clock, Buck decided that two hours of sleep was enough. With a racing heart, Buck got up to start his day before his shift at 118. However, the closer the time came to head to work, Buck’s anxiety grew.

“Come on, stop being exhausting Buck. You are fine.” He said to himself. Buck skipped the kitchen and went to grab his duffle bag from the table. He needed to pack it since this would be the first back-to-back shift he would do with the team. Buck should be excited, maybe this was their way of saying we trust you again. Instead, Buck was numb, he felt nothing. As he got ready, he did not notice how his clothes were bulky on him. His work shirt could have fit two of him in it. He did not pay attention to the dark circles under his eyes or the way his skin looked way to pale. His focus was to keep his head down at work. To get through the shift unnoticed and without new bruises on his body.

Arriving at the 118 used to bring happiness and energy. Now it was nothing, A still beating heart with an empty mind Buck entered the 118. He was already changed so there was no need to go into the lockers, he learned that mistake his first week back.

**Flashback**

Buck arrived at the station ready to get back to what he loved. He was excited to put on his uniform and return to his normal. In the locker room, Buck was so excited to be back, he did not notice the angry glare Eddie was giving him. “What are you doing here!?” Buck turned around, a look of confusing appeared on his face. “I’m getting dressed for work?” Eddie just huffed, “Why we don’t want you here. No one wants exhausting Buck.” Buck lowed his head, the tears trying to fall from his eyes. “Look Eddie, I’m…” “Save it Buckley. I don’t want to hear it.” Before Buck could try to apologize again, Bobby walked in. “What the hell Buckley? Get dressed, there are chores to do. This is my house; my rules so stop playing around and get to work.” Eddie just smirked, “Careful Boss, he might sue us again.”

**End Flashback**

It took some time, but Buck eventually learned to stay away from the locker room. It is where Eddie and sometimes Chim would spit hateful comments at him. It sometimes resulted in a bruised shoulder as well. There were many places, Buck avoided in the firehouse. The kitchen was a no go when the firehouse had a meal. Buck was no longer invited. There were many times he tried to join them, only to get insulted by everyone. He was not even allowed to eat any of the food that was cooked. He had to clean the mess but never indulge in the food. Eventually Buck just loss his appetite. 

As Buck makes his way across the operating floor, he heads to Captain Nash’s office. He stopped being called Bobby months ago. He knocked on the door and only entered when Captain Nash said he was allowed in. Buck walked in and stood behind the chair across from Captain Nash. He never sat down in here. It was one of the “rules.” “Captain Nash, I am here to grab the chore list from you for the shift.” Buck did not miss the flinch Bobby made when addressed as Captain Nash. In the past, Buck would have felt sorrow and apologized. Not now, Buck stood as stiff as a board of wood and felt nothing. Bobby did not even look up from his desk to address Buck. “It’s on the kitchen fridge, make sure you do them right or else you will redo them Buckley.” Taking that as the cue, Buck opened the door to start his day. Making his way to the kitchen, he sees Chim, Hen and Eddie playing video games on the couch.

“So, Eddie, what are your plans for the next three days after this shift. Personally, Maddie and I are going to go to the beach.” Chim said. “I am going to sleep and hang out with Christopher. He wants to go to the movies so we will probably go. Hen you guys can come and bring Denny. Bobby is bringing May and Harry. We can make it a fire family event.” Eddie said this last sentence while looking at Buck. He wanted to see Buck’s pain. He did not even see a flinch and that just pissed him off. Eddie jumped up from the couch and practically run towards Buck. Grabbing Buck by the collar and slamming him against the table. “What the hell are you still doing here Buckley? We don’t want you here.” “I’m just trying to grab the chore list Diaz. I will grab it and go so can you let go of my shirt?” Buck looked into Eddie’s eyes while he said this. No fear in his eyes, no emotion. Emotion was pointless to Buck. Eddie just glared at him. Chim and Hen were not any better. They stood next to Eddie with the same expression. One of disgust. They stood like that until Eddie walked off. Buck just rolled his shoulders and went to work.

The shift was never-ending. He worked his ass off to do the chores. Only for Bobby to yell at him to do it again. He got slammed into lockers and tables all day. By the end of the shift Buck was numb. Without even showering to get the smell of bleach off him. Buck just grabbed his bag and left. In the back of his head, he heard the rest of the 118 making plans and saying goodbye to each other. Everyday was hard for him. He just swallowed the pain down and kept going. Why today made him finally break, he did not know.


	2. Chapter 2

Buck would never know why he was drawn to the beach after his shift but that is where he ended. The sunny shining bright on the water. The surfers catching waves seemed to calm Buck. He never got close to the water but sat on the sand. Who knows how long he sat there? Lost in his thoughts Buck just watched the waves crash onto the shore. The presence of someone sitting next to him, pulled Buck from his thoughts. The first think he noticed was that it was dark. The sun was now replaced by the moon, and his face burned. Sun-burned from the lack of protection. “God, I am so stupid”, Buck thought. He turned when a hand landed on his shoulder. A man with black hair, covered in sand, with bright green eyes looked back at him. “My names Jeremy. I just wanted to ask if you were ok. I have been surfing all day and you have not moved once since I saw you. Do you need help?” Buck just looked at him shocked. Why is this man so concerned about me? He does not even know me. It took a while for Buck to get his thoughts sorted before he answered. The man just waited with patience. “I’m…I’m ok.” The man Jeremy just looked at him, almost analyzing Buck’s appearance. “I do not believe you. But if is ok with you can I sit next to you for a while, “Jeremy asked. Before Buck could speak, Jeremy sat next to Buck and looked out towards the water. “You know, I love the water. It has a calming effect on me. My parents said I should have been born a fish,” Jeremy laughs. Buck was not sure why this man was trying to start a conversation with him. He should be more alarmed but at this moment he felt relaxed, safe. Not even two minutes go by before Buck had fallen asleep against the man’s shoulder.

Water, dark water filled his lungs. Bodies under the seas tried to grab his limbs and pull him below the surface. “No! Stop! Go Away!” Buck yelled. When the bodies finally pulled him under, Buck shot up out of bed, gasping for air. The first thing he noticed was that this was not his apartment. The second was the man asleep on the couch across the room. The man, Jeremy looked uncomfortable. His arm and one leg were hanging off the couch. He seemed peaceful. Buck was so focused on him; he did not notice the lady standing next to the bed. “How are you feeling?” Buck quickly turned to face the women. Jeremy completely forgotten. “My names Rose. You are ok. Jeremy met you at the beach before you passed out. He could not wake you, so he carried you to our home. You have been asleep for hours. You must have needed it.” Buck just looked at Rose trying to process what she said. “Why? Why bring me into your home. I could be a serial killer for all you know,” Buck questioned. Rose just smiled at him. Buck got this small feeling in the pit of his stomach. He felt comfort and home. Rose pointed to the sleeping Jeremy. “That man loves to take care of people. Yesterday he saw a broken man in need of help. It is in his nature to help those who are damaged. And Boy, you are damaged.” Buck just continued to stare at Jeremy. “Now sleepy bones, I do not mean to be mean, but you stink. Go take a shower and I will cook some breakfast. The bathroom is right there on your left.” Buck just laughed. He laughed for the first time in months. He smiled at Rose and went to go take a shower. While the hot water helped relax the muscles on his back. Buck thought about how he ended up into this situation. He knew any logical person would have ran by now. Buck, however, did not want to leave. He felt safe here. So, he decided to stay until they kicked him out.

Once out of the shower, Buck put on the clothes that someone laid out for him, probably Rose. The sweatpants and hoodie drowned him but the scent on them helped calm Buck’s creeping anxiety. Walking out of the room he slept in. Buck could hear laughing and the sound of pots and pans in the kitchen. “Simon, you better stop! I am warning you put the spatula down. I need to cook this food or else we will starve,” Rose complained. Rounding the corner, Buck saw Rose trying to cook pancakes while a man, with blonde hair, kept trying to steal the spatula. This must be Simon, Buck thought. Before he could completely enter the kitchen, Simon turned and looked at Buck. “Hi stranger, Jeremy wants to see you outside on the porch. Here is a smoothie. It has all the good stuff you need to look less like a zombie.” Buck just smiled and took the smoothie. He did not expect his body to like it, but he ended up finishing the smoothie in two gulps. Simon smiled and took the glass from Buck’s hand. “Well go on, you do not want to keep Jeremy waiting.” Buck walked out onto the porch. Jeremy was also drinking a smoothie with his back towards Buck. “I’m sorry. I know it is weird to wake up in a stranger’s home. But last night I was worried for you. I could not leave you there. I hope you do not mind. If you cannot remember my names Jeremy. I am a doctor. I do not know what is going on in your life and you do not have to tell me, but I want you to know you are safe here. And I along with Rose and Simon will not hurt you.” Jeremy then turned around to face Buck. Buck looked into Jeremy’s eyes and all he saw was concern. Before Buck could stop, his frustration, pain and emotions came to the surface. Buck just fell onto the wood porch and cried. Jeremy without hesitation hugged Buck. Jeremy wrapped his arms around Buck and continued to hug him while Buck cried.

While crying Buck explained everything. It was like the flood gates had opened. After what felt like forever, Buck was no longer crying. Buck felt relief. It was the best feeling he has felt in months. “What’s your name, “Jeremy asked. Buck took a deep breath and looked up into Jeremy’s eyes. “My names Evan.” “Well Evan, would you like to move in with us. No one should be alone, and we have plenty of room. You do not need to decide now but…” “Yes, I want to move in with you. I don’t know why but I trust you.” Jeremy smiled. He helped Buck to his feet and guided him to the kitchen. The smell of food made Buck’s stomach growl. Jeremy laughed, “We need to get you back to a healthy weight. Rose can help with that. She is a Rehabilitation Therapist. She helps people deal with food disorders. We can’t have you looking like a zombie forever.” Rose and Simon were sitting at the table waiting for them. They smiled at Buck with nothing but kindness. “This is Evan, he is going to live with us. Rose I need you to help get him back on track weight wise.” Jeremy said. “Ok, Evan when do you eat? Or do you skip meals.” Buck looked down ashamed. Simon reached over and squeezed his shoulder. “It’s ok dude. We will have you healthy in no time. But right now, I am hungry, and I know you are to so let us eat.” Buck smiled and sat down. He could not tell you how much he ate but he felt content. He did not even notice he was falling asleep until Jeremy grabbed him before he could fall to the floor. “Easy Evan, you still need to get some sleep. You have been fighting sleep and I know you have nightmares, but I will help you deal with them. For now, why don’t sleep on the living room couch so you can see us if you wake up.” Buck just nodded and was guided to the couch. As soon as his head hit the pillow, Buck was asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

This is how the next two days Buck had gone. He talked with Jeremy when Jeremy was not at work. If Jeremy were busy, he would hang out with Simon, who was a college student studying to become a doctor. He spend a good time with Rose in the kitchen. They talked all about his eating problems and came up with a plan to make sure he gained the weight he needed. “Now I will be preparing your meals depending on your shifts. You need to eat all of it Evan.” He smiled. He was starting to love these people. It has only been three days and Buck would die for them. That night while Rose and Simon went to bed, Buck was having a panic attack. What would happen at work tomorrow. He loved his job but did not want to fall back into his depressed state.

Deep in thought, Buck missed Jeremy coming home. “Evan, you should be sleeping. You have a shift tomorrow,” Jeremy said with a concerned face. Buck could not even look into Jeremy’s eyes. The worry of the tomorrow deep in his chest. “You know Evan, you are very smart. You seem to care for people so why not use that to your advantage.” Buck turned and looked at Jeremy. He could see how tired Jeremy was. Being a doctor could do that to you. Buck started to feel guilty for keeping him up. They have been so focused on his needs Buck never even thought about what they needed. “Evan, you are fine. Yes, I am tired but you’re my friend. I am here for you. Now let us go to bed ok?” Buck just nodded his head and allowed Jeremy to guide him. Jeremy still sleeps on the couch in Evan’s Room. They called it Evan’s room because it was going to be his room. He would be moving in with them the next time he had off. Jeremy had his own room with Rose, but he decided that with Buck’s nightmares, it would be safer to sleep near Buck. Buck kept telling Jeremy to sleep in his own room, Jeremy never did. As he fell asleep, he could not help but think of what Jeremy suggested. Buck was smart. He loved to learn facts about random things so maybe he should try to learn about something in a deeper sense. Before he could think about it in detail, Buck was asleep. “Evan… Evan! You need to get up and eat before work,” Simon yelled. Buck awoke without tremors. This was the first night sleep with no nightmares. He looked over at the couch to see Jeremy gone but a pile of books with a note in his place. Buck got out of bed and grabbed the note.

“Congratulations on making it through the night! These are textbooks on different languages. You should learn one! I also downloaded a language app on your phone to help you. Have a good day at work! I will talk to you tonight. Love you Ev… That is your nickname now. -Jeremy” Buck smiled. He could feel the happiness warm his heart. He went through the books and chose to learn Spanish and Sign Language. With a new sense of strength Buck dressed for work and went into the kitchen. Rose and Simon were already eating. A plate was sitting on the table waiting for him. He could see a lunch bag that had his name on it. It made him smile. God, he loved them. Rose and Simon smiled at him as he ate all his breakfast. He was going to stick to Rose’s diet. Before he left for work, he gave Rose and Simon a hug. “Call us, any one of us if you need help. We will come. We love you Evan. And eat all of your lunch please.” Buck smiled, “I love you guys too. Have a great day at work and school.”

Arriving at work once brought terror and anxiety. Now he felt like he could do this. Before going into work, he decided to text Jeremy. “Hey Jer(that’s your new nickname), have a great day at work! Thank you for the books. I love you.” As he sent the message he smiled. He thought he had a best friend in Eddie, but Jeremy was slowly replacing him. For once Buck felt safe as he headed into the station.

Walking into the station, Buck was walking past Eddie and Chim with his head up high. He heard them talking about their time off, but Buck paid no attention. “Why are you smiling Buckley? Did you sue someone on your days off,” Chim asked? Eddie just glared at him as Buck stopped walking and turned to them. His time off was great and special to him. No one could take it away from him Buck thought. “It was great Han. Thank you for asking.” Buck wanted to laugh at Chims expression as Buck answered him, but he just turned around and kept walking. He had a job to do anyways. Once he stored his language books into his locker with some new clothes, (Yes Buck decided that it was his space as much as anyone else’s so why not use it.) Buck went to Bobby’s office to get his chore list. With a smile on his face thinking about how Jeremy, Rose, and Simon were going to decorate his room, Buck knocked on the door. With a quick come in, Buck walked into the office and asked Bobby for the list. “Morning Captain Nash, I just came in to grab the chore list.” Bobby looked up from his computer to glare at Buck. Bobby could not remember the last time Buck said Good Morning to him. Something is wrong Bobby thought. Before he could ask Buck, what was wrong, the alarm went off. Bobby quickly ran past Buck. “The list is on the fridge Buck.” With a nod, Buck closed the office door and went to work. He put in his headphones and started to learn some Spanish. With no care in the world to the noise around him.


	4. Chapter 4

It was near lunch time when, the 118 returned from their call. Buck had just finished all the chores on the list. He did not even notice until he went to look at the list again. Hmm, I guess now I can relax Buck thought. As he was heading to the locker room, he passed the 118 as they were heading to the kitchen to make lunch. “Captain Nash, I finished the chore list.” Bobby quickly turned his head. The rest of the 118 stopped on the stairs and turned around. All of them looking at Buck. “You finished the whole list,” Hen asked? They all started looking at each other. “Yes, I finished it all. If you will let me, I am going to take a lunch break and then I can clean the truck,” Buck said before continuing to the locker room. Buck did not wait for a reply. The 118 were still on the stairs when he returned. What is wrong with them Buck thought. He walked up the stairs trying to get around them. While he walked, he could still feel their eyes on his back watching him. He was starting to get anxious. Did he do something wrong? No, Buck thought. Do not go backwards. If they have a problem, they can tell him. So, Buck pushed that feeling down and again put in his headphones. He continued his Spanish lesson on the app. Going to the window ledge, Buck sat down on the ledge and opened his lunch from Rose.

“What the hell,” Hen said. Bobby just continued to look at Buck. He finished that list. They never finished that list together so how could he have finished it. “Come on guys. He probably did them wrong. Let’s go eat and look at the list. We can yell at him later but right now I’m hungry,” Eddie said. The rest of the 118 went into the living room area to play video games while Bobby cooked. Eddie and Hen kept themselves busy by playing video games. Chim was scrolling though his phone and Bobby was making some pasta. He needed his co-cook and was about to ask Buck, but Buck had his headphone’s in and was staring out the window. So, Bobby just went back to cooking. The 118 would definitely have to talk about Buck later. Something was wrong here.

Eddie could not focus on the game. He kept looking at Buck. How did Buck finish that whole list? They could never finish the chore list. He probably bullshit it to get it done faster is what Eddie thought. But just by looking around that did not seem true. Thinking about Buck only pissed Eddie off more. This dumb idiot sued us and is just sitting there looking all peaceful. It made Eddie see red. Before, Buck can do anything. Eddie went over to Buck and yanked the headphones from his ears. Buck looked startled for a second but then fixed his emotions. “You’re lunch break is over. I know you rushed through those chores. You need to go do them again and clean the truck.” Buck looked at Eddie and then looked at Bobby who had stopped stirring the pasta. “Eddie, the pasta is ready. Buckley go redo the chores. I can’t believe you would rush them.” Buck slowly got up. He walked around Eddie to throw away the rest of his lunch. Thank god he finished it early. He knew he did not rush the chores, but Buck would never say that. It would only cause trouble. The healing in his heart was slowly starting to break again. They still did not trust him. It has been months. He has done everything they have asked. He looked at everyone to see if there was any love there. He saw nothing but anger. Fine, he did not need them to be his family. He already had a family. He started to walk down the stairs all respect and love for his fire family disappearing with every step.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is the end to the start of discovering Buck's new Family. I hope you enjoyed it. :)

The shift was hard on Buck. He ended up redoing the chores two more times before Bobby was satisfied. Buck was exhausted. After the shift he dressed quickly in the locker room, ignoring the comments Eddie and Chim made. He needed to go to his apartment and grab some clothes to bring to Jeremy’s. When he finally made it, Buck could barely keep his eyes open. A quick nap on the couch won’t hurt and then I can pack. Buck fell onto the couch and was in a deep sleep-in seconds. The first thing he noticed was how sore his shoulders felt. The next was Jeremy sitting on the floor watching him. “Hey Sleepy-Head,” Jeremy said. Buck smiled and slowly sat up. He could see Rose cooking in his kitchen and Simon doing homework at his dining room table. “We got worried when you didn’t come home. I remember you gave me an extra key and the address to your apartment just in case, so we came here. Work must have been tough.” Buck laughed. “You have no idea. Thank you for being here.”

“Is he finally awake, because the food is ready!” Jeremy smiled, “We should go before she comes and drags us into the kitchen.” Buck slowly rose off the couch and walked to the kitchen. Rose had just finished plating meatloaf with green greens when she turned and looked at Buck. “Hey Evan, I hope you had a good day at work. Come eat and then we can watch a movie. We’re staying here tonight.” Buck just nodded and sat down at the table. While the rest of them talked, Buck could not help but look at the people around him.

“I love you,” he said. The group paused and looked at him. “I love you guys. It has only been a couple days, but you guys mean more to me then anything. I love you not because you took me in but because you showed me how to feel... how to love again. Buck was beginning to cry now. “I love you and I can’t wait to move in with you. And I know I have not been easy to handle but I am getting better because of you.” Before he could finish, Simon got up and hugged him. “You are apart of this family now. I love you and will always love you. We all love you and everyone has issues. We as a family help each other Evan.” Jeremy just smiled, “Let us eat Ev, then we’ll watch a movie while you sleep. We will be here now and forever.”

After they had finished the meal, everyone moved into the living room. Buck was pushed onto the couch with Jeremy right next to him. Rose and Simon sat on the floor leaning against them. Rose chose a Disney movie. While the movie played, Buck started to feel the pull of sleep again. He was trying to fight it. He did not want thing moment to end. This one moment that brought him happiness. It reminded him what it felt like to be loved again. “Go to sleep Ev. It is ok,” Jeremy said. Buck slowly fell asleep. Against Jeremy’s shoulder almost into a deep sleep, Buck mumbled “Jer, Will you be my emergency contact?” Jeremy laughed, “I will if that is what you want.” Buck smiled in his sleep. “I love you Jer.” Buck then fell into a deep sleep. He did not get to hear what Jeremy replied but in his heart, he knew Jeremy loved him back.


End file.
